For Women
(And there are many more that I’m sure you could add to this list.)
But sometimes, we do and do until we are so depleted that exhaustion and depression threaten to consume us.
A 1994 report of the World Health Organization seems to confirm that women indeed are struggling more than their male counterparts.
According to the report a woman is three times more likely than a man to experience a major depressive disorder in her lifetime; will attempt suicide more often than their male counterparts; (although men actually complete – die more often from suicide attempts than women) and are twice as likely to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder than a man is. <Read full report here>
So what’s a woman to do?
Well my hope is that part of what you do is read something in my articles that resonate with you.
That’s why I share my life with you. So you know that you aren’t the only one who’s dealt with depression, or kids, or too much to do, or self-esteem issues.
You will find excerpts to some of my articles for women at the bottom of this page along with a link to the full article. May they bless you and may the God of peace fill you with all of His joy and strength.
THE CATERPILLAR IN THE COCOON AND ME
As a child, I loved to find caterpillars and place them in a large glass jar with grass and, of course, a stick so they could make their cocoon. It was awesome to watch this furry little worm spin itself into a living tomb, then hibernate on that stick for the length of time it took to become a butterfly.
I’ve often wondered if the caterpillar knows it is going to become a butterfly while it’s isolated in the pitch-blackness of the cocoon. Maybe God doesn’t tell the faithful little caterpillar that there will be an end to its suffering. Maybe that furry little worm only has the promise that “All things work together for the good, to those who love the Lord, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28) Maybe, in desperation, the caterpillar prayed all night and went on a lengthy fast in an effort to persuade the Almighty to release him from his oppression. Maybe he didn’t understand why his Abba Father would allow such a terrible occurrence to happen to him. The caterpillar and I have much in common.
My personal cocoon came in the form of depression. <link to rest of article here>
Where ever you are today in your life’s journey as a woman, my hope and prayer is that you find something on this page that will nurture you, encourage you, and uplift you.
We women are great multi-taskers. So many of us fill so many roles, consider the following list and see how many of these you have done in your lifetime:
Friend
Companion
Helpmeet
Mother
Grandmother
Nurturer
Wound-Dresser
Clothes-Washer
Food-Preparer
House-Cleaner
Provider
Career Woman
Counselor
Provider
Career Woman
Counselor
Referee
Taxi-Driver
Caregiver
Nurse
Maid
Coach
Tutor
Intercessor
Peacemaker
Homework Helper
Costume Maker
Event Planner
Educator
Debbie Simler-Goff
Of Course, Now It's Obvious! A Newlywed's Survival Guide
First published by www.ninetyandnine.com
By Debbie Goff
January 24, 2000
I reached down to pick up the laundry strewn across the bedroom floor. As I did so, I remembered my great grandmother’s words upon hearing I had recently married Buddy: "Never, ever, pick up his dirty socks!" The recollection of her admonition incited me to action! I politely informed Buddy that if he did not put his soiled clothing in the laundry basket, I would not wash it. To my exasperation, he did not comply. Our marriage was one week old and already we were at a standoff!
I have since learned that compromise is the secret to resolving marital conflicts. Eager newlyweds, who want their love to truly last a lifetime need to understand that marriage is a give-and-take partnership. The scriptural passage that begins "So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh..." (Matthew 19:6) is not just talking about physical intimacy. Marriage is the fusing of two wills (Who will do the laundry?), two spirits (What are our ministries?), and two sets of ingrained lifelong habits (Are we an "over the roll" or "under the roll" toilet paper family?) Webster defines fusion as "a merging of diverse elements into a unified whole" Such a transformation cannot occur without intense heat being applied. Wise wedded partners will choose to allow the fire of the Holy Spirit to bring about their marital fusion, instead of the incandescence of their tempers.
God’s Job: Order My Tomorrows...My Job: Occupy Today
First published by www.ninetyandnine.com
By Debbie Goff
April 10, 2000
"Occupy, till I come" (Luke 19:13)
In this scripture, the word occupy means: "To busy oneself, to work, to take care of business." It is as if God is saying, 'Stay focused on the tasks and life I have provided for you, let me handle the worries and concerns you have about your future.' Each of us has had to wrestle with the question, "Is God really holding my future?" Yet, it never seems more intense than when we are a single adult, peering into the thick fog of the future, and wondering just what we are supposed to do with ourselves. Scripture answers back, "Occupy!" An astute fog watcher, will not just occupy by means of survival, but will occupy with joy!
Children Learn What You Live
First published by www.ninetyandnine.com
By Debbie Goff
March 6, 2000
Buddy and I were enjoying an evening out with friends and their (almost) two year-old son. As we all piled into the car and fastened our seatbelt, their son attempted to do the same. At the restaurant, after our food arrived, we all bowed our heads to pray. The little boy also bowed his head. His quiet manner of "following the leader" arrested my attention. I asked myself what they were doing differently in raising their son than Buddy and I had done with our children. That Still Small Voice resonated through my mind: "Nothing. Your living example also taught your children to mimic your actions!" <Read Full Article Here>
If I Knew Then What I Know Now:
I Would Have Complained Less and Prayed More
First published by www.ninetyandnine.com
By Debbie Simler-Goff
August 13, 2007
My four-year-old granddaughter Josey is known as the Informer. She informed her aunt when her cousin squirted a juice box all over the wall. She informed her mommy when her brother pulled her hair. And she informed the entire church, during prayer requests, that she was constipated! Yes, Josey likes to keep others informed. Sometimes she’s amusing. Occasionally she’s entertaining. But most of the time she’s just being a snitch.
Sometimes we are like Josey. <Read Full Article Here>
What are you really saying?
By Debbie Simler-Goff
Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2007, Summer
Nonverbal signals carry five times the impact of spoken words. So understanding your mate's body language can go a long way to avoiding arguments and strengthening your relationship. Here are six strategies for communicating without words.
1.
Watch your mate's shoulders. Hunched shoulders may indicate defeat, or that she's feeling overwhelmed. Squared shoulders convey confidence and could mean he's ready for battle. Observing the difference can defuse potential conflict before it strikes. <Read Full Article Here>
Watch your mate's shoulders. Hunched shoulders may indicate defeat, or that she's feeling overwhelmed. Squared shoulders convey confidence and could mean he's ready for battle. Observing the difference can defuse potential conflict before it strikes. <Read Full Article Here>The following articles first appeared on the website www.ninetyandnine.com
Instant Motherhood: How a 20 year-old Survived
By Debbie Goff
December 12, 1999
“Michelle is dead.” My mind raced at the words. What Michelle did I know that was elderly or sick? None! Michelle Goff, mother of four small children, church member, alto in the choir—dead of a heart attack at 29!
As the next Sunday’s service began, in walked Buddy Goff, now a widower facing the world without Michelle. Immediately behind him were their children, nine year-old Paul, seven year-old Jeremy, five year-old Stephanie, and two year-old Joshua. No one expected him to be there; his wife had just passed away the day before. Yet, that single act of faithfulness sums up Buddy—loving, gentle-hearted, and devoted to the end. No matter that his Savior had suddenly taken his wife. No matter that he didn’t know what he was going to do now. If that is what God thought was best, then he would get through it. Buddy took his place in their usual seat and began to worship. Worship! It was the most incredible act I have ever witnessed.
Somehow, Stephanie found her way next to me. She scooted as close to me as she could, looked up with those chocolate, luminous eyes of hers and said, “My mom died last night.” My heart ached for her. <Read Full Article Here>
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Children Learn What You Live
By Debbie Goff
March 6, 2000
Buddy and I were enjoying an evening out with friends and their (almost) two year-old son. As we all piled into the car and fastened our seatbelt, their son attempted to do the same. At the restaurant, after our food arrived, we all bowed our heads to pray. The little boy also bowed his head. His quiet manner of "following the leader" arrested my attention. I asked myself what they were doing differently in raising their son than Buddy and I had done with our children. That Still Small Voice resonated through my mind: "Nothing. Your living example also taught your children to mimic your actions!"
The weight of this revelation caused me to reflect on my grown children... <Read Full Article Here>
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The Holy Ghost Is Watching You
By Debbie Goff
February 14, 2000
"Man, we can’t get by with anything! The Holy Ghost tells my mom everything!" I chuckled as I overheard my children saying these words to a group of their friends. The funny part is that it was true. After spending my first few years of parenting on the merry-go-round of disciplining techniques, it occurred to me that if my prayers could move mountains, why couldn’t it help me with my children?
With three children, ages six to 13, still at home, my biggest battle was... <Read Full Article Here>
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Of course, Now It's Obvious! Little Talebearers: Dealing with an Age-Old Problem
By Debbie Goff
February 7, 2000
The majority of us can probably recall a time when we fibbed, stretched the truth, or told a whopper. We also can remember getting caught and how we were punished. I’ve heard tales of washing the culprits mouth out with soap (as if the tongue was a separate entity that acted on its own accord), spanking, grounding, or being given a "time out." As a child, I never questioned how my parents disciplined me for such misconduct. I acknowledged I was wrong, accepted my penance, and received absolution—until the next transgression. Yet as an adult, with my own daughter struggling with the "whole truth and nothing but the truth," I began to wonder if there was a better solution to this age-old problem.
Stephanie had difficulty telling the truth from the time she was five years old. <Read Full Article Here>
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Of Course, Now It's Obvious! A Newlywed's Survival Guide
By Debbie Goff
January 24, 2000
I reached down to pick up the laundry strewn across the bedroom floor. As I did so, I remembered my great grandmother’s words upon hearing I had recently married Buddy: "Never, ever, pick up his dirty socks!" The recollection of her admonition incited me to action! I politely informed Buddy that if he did not put his soiled clothing in the laundry basket, I would not wash it. To my exasperation, he did not comply. Our marriage was one week old and already we were at a standoff!
I have since learned that compromise is the secret to resolving marital conflicts. <Read Full Article Here>
